This place is shit.
Saying sorry doesn’t mean anything anymore. It’s just how the world works.
Flicked through channels.
Just went onto channel 4 and I saw 2 young kids ballroom dancing. Then it turned to them wanting to keep their relationship together being pen pals or being in long distance relationship.
It reminded me of my young days. Having your best and only friend move away from you and being stuck on your own all the way through primary school.
I hate my youth.
As soon as I log onto tumblr I feel as if I shouldn’t be here.
I always see posts that make me feel completely shit about myself and what I do. I try to be a good person but I don’t get much back. I never have done. It’s only in this last year or so I’ve been actually recognized as a human being I don’t like to remind myself about what I’ve done, said and who I’ve spoken to by a website. Some of you are actually really nice people but then there are some who constantly want to make my life a misery. You are the ones that need to look at yourselves and ask whether you’re grown up enough to say that you’re being an idiot. I doubt it though. You’re so caught up in your little worlds that you don’t seem to have any common sense.
I almost died today. If that car was 2 seconds slower or if I was going 1 mph faster, I wouldn’t be sitting here. I would be in a hospital bed fighting for my life, wishing I could come out to see my girlfriend, my family and the last remaining friends that actually give a damn about my “sorry little existence”. Honestly? Yeah, sometimes I think about what would people think or say if I died right now. But to think I actually could’ve? And to still get reminded that I’m useless? That I’m hated? That I’m not good enough? That I never will be good enough? Yeah, I wish I did die.
But I’m not that person anymore. I don’t want to leave behind people I care about, people who I love and cherish. Something that idiots like you will never have.
I think ill just delete my account and never have any affiliation with this site again.
